Murphy's Laws of Combat

[George W. Smith]

• The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

Watch for more in this discussion.

[Mike Kultgen]

I recall someone once telling me the most dangerous thing in combat is an officer with a map and a radio. mk

[Thomas Blaszkiewicz]

I just finished a book called-Platoon Leader-A Memoir Of Command In Combat-about Viet Nam.

The most dangerous thing -an officer walking point.

[George W. Smith]

Here's a three- for-one:

• Friendly fire isn't.
• Recoilless rifles - aren't.
• Suppressive fire - won't.

[Dave Gettman]

Most officers can't even spell liaison, let alone maintain it!

[Edward (Gene) Beck]

I always heard that the most dangerous thing in the Army is a 2nd Lt. with a map and a compass!

[George W. Smith]

That sounds like me. Three days after arriving in Amberg (K Troop) they sent me off to Vilseck for a 1 week Cav Platoon Leader course. I had a jeep, driver, map and a compass. Good experience.

[Edward (Gene) Beck]

So I guess the driver knew the way to Vilseck.

[Dave Gettman]

Pushin' your luck, Gene. These guys had the keys to blow the bridges. Makes it hard to get to the local gasthaus.

[George W. Smith]

Absolutely! He was actually the Troop Commander's driver on loan. He had already been in courntry for 2 years. At this point the only things I knew how to find was the K Troop orderly room, the officer's club and my BOQ.

[Edward (Gene) Beck]

Just kiddin Dave. I can't begin to imagine what it was like to be a new 2nd Lt. in a Cav regiment. After a day of putting up with our dumbasses, the officers had tons of paperwork, planning sessions, briefings and all kinds of other B.S. the higher ups could come up with. For the most part, our officers were the best in the Army, serving in one of the toughest jobs there is. Even at the platoon level, Cav. officers had to run a combined arms unit unlike any other in the military at the time. So, George, My respect for you and all the officers is boundless and I have always been proud to say: ALWAYS READY, SIR!!!!!!

[George W. Smith]

Time to change the subject.

• Things which must be shipped together as a set aren't.
• Things that must work together can't be carried to the field that way.

[George W. Smith]

Not really a law of combat, but funny anyway.

HAVE YOU HEARD:
• It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
• One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).
• The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb.
• Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
• A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
• There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
• Women blink twice as often as men.
• The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
• Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
• If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs.